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CCN-655 Lecture 1
The Purpose of Relationships
Introduction
As you begin this course, you may be wondering about the importance of taking a course solely
on relationships. Does that seem to be a narrow topic? As we will see, relationships are of great
importance in counseling, both because they are a reflection of God’s original creation but also
because we cannot escape them. We all live in community, and because sin is a reality, much of
counseling deals with relational issues. Those relational issues can be between us and God,
within marriages, within families, or within other types of relationships. To begin, let us examine
the purpose of relationships as God intended them, but also the result of Adam and Eve’s
disobedience in the Garden of Eden. Both will help us develop a foundation for the rest of the
course.
Reflection of Relationship Within the Trinity
In thinking about relationships, it may be helpful to examine the original relationship, between
the Three Persons of the Trinity. Since God has always existed, and therefore the Trinity has
always existed, there has always been this relationship. This is evident even from the very
beginning of the Scriptures. In Genesis 1:1 (ESV), we read “In the beginning, God.” The first
four words tell us that God has been, even before the beginning of time. Within two verses, it is
clear that there are multiple persons within the Godhead. Genesis 1:1-2 reads “In the beginning,
God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was
over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.” Here,
we see God as Creator but also God as Spirit. Paul helps us understand where the third Person,
Jesus Christ, fits into creation. He writes in Colossians 1:15-17,
He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were
created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible…all things were created through him and
for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
So from these two passages, it is clear that all three Persons of the Trinity were present at
creation, existing in unity to form the heavens and the earth.
Before we continue, it may be helpful to emphasize both the unity and diversity within the
Godhead. Although there are Three, there is only One God. In the shema, in Deuteronomy 6:4,
the Lord says “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.” God exists in perfect unity,
equal in power and substance. We serve only one God. One of the Church Fathers, Saint
Augustine, took on the task of explaining the Trinity in his work De Trinitate. In it, he writes,
There is so great an equality in that Trinity, that not only the Father is not greater than the Son, as
regards divinity, but neither are the Father and Son together greater than the Holy Spirit; nor is
each individual person, whichever it be of the three, less than the Trinity itself.” (Prologue, Book
8)
Here, Augustine is affirming the equal relationship between the members of the Trinity, but there
is still a clear distinction between the Persons. We see this not only in the passage about creation
but throughout the Scriptures. In particular, when Jesus gives His command to “go and make
disciples” in Matthew 28:19, he includes, “baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the
Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Notice that “name” is singular, affirming that there is one God.
However, He clearly indicates the three Persons when He specifies Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
While it may be difficult to fully understand both the unity and diversity in the Trinity, it is still
important, especially as it provides a model for relationships within God’s creation.
Relationships as Created Originally by God
When God created human beings, He created them in perfect relationship with Himself and with
one another. Genesis 3:8 tells us that Adam and Eve “heard the sound of the LORD God walking
in the garden in the cool of the day.” God literally walked with them in the Garden of Eden. He
fellowshipped with them, provided for them (see Gen. 2:9), and talked with them. Nothing
separated God from His creation.
God also created Adam and Eve in relationship with one another. When God was creating man,
He created Adam, but “then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I
will make him a helper fit for him'” (Gen. 2:18). God wanted man to have a relationship with
another person, just as there was a relationship within the Godhead. He also wanted someone to
help Adam, someone who was suitable for him. So in Genesis 2:22-24 we read,
The rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to
the man. Then the man said “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be
called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and
his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
It was here that God established marriage, a permanent relationship between man and woman.
Genesis 1:28 tells us, “And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply
and fill the earth.” Soon after God establishes marriage, God gives Adam and Eve to “multiply,”
or create a family. Within the first three chapters of the Bible, God has demonstrated a
relationship within Himself, a relationship between Himself and people, a marriage relationship,
and a family relationship. It is all of these, as He created, that He called “very good.”
Relationships After the Fall
Not long after Adam and Eve were created, their relationship with God and between themselves
was broken by sin, or what theologians call “the Fall.” Adam and Eve had disobeyed God’s
commands not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The first relationship that this
destroyed was that between God and man. It created a separation that had not existed until sin
entered the world, a separation that would be both physical and spiritual. In Genesis 3:23-24, we
read,
Therefore the LORD God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which
he was taken. He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim
and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life.
God banished Adam and Eve from the Garden that He had established to provide for them and
the place where He communed with Him, and they were unable to reenter it. Paul tells us in
Romans that their act of disobedience also led to their spiritual condemnation, as well as that of
every generation to come. He writes in Romans 5:18-21,
Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to
justification and life for all men. For as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made
sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous. Now the law came in to
increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin
reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through
Jesus Christ our Lord.
Sin led to the physical and spiritual death of Adam and Eve as well as their progeny.
In addition to the distance created between God and man, there also came discord between
people. In Genesis 4 we read about Cain and Abel, the sons of Adam and Eve. When Abel
brought a sacrifice that was acceptable to the Lord, and Cain’s was not, Cain became angry.
Genesis 4:8 tells us, “And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and
killed him.” There was clear discord even between the first set of siblings. By Genesis 6, the
discord between people has become so great that the Lord decides to send a flood. Genesis 6:5
says, “The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention
of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” By Genesis 14, the time of Abram and
Lot, there was war between nations (14:2). Man had very quickly allowed discord to come
between whole nations. Finally, with sin came disorder in Creation. When God issues His curse
to the serpent in Genesis 3:15, God tells him that He “will put enmity between you and the
woman, and between your offspring and her offspring.” There would now not only be discord
between human beings, but also between them and the animals. However, the disorder does not
stop there. Romans 8:20-22 tells us that it extends even to inanimate objects. Here, Paul writes,
For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in
hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the
freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been
groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.
All of creation, and all of the relationships within that creation, were in bondage because of the
Fall. Everything that God had created was corrupted and decaying. The relationship with God
and others had been broken.
Life Lived Within Community
While it may seem rather obvious to state that all of life is lived in communities, it does put in
perspective the necessity of understanding relationships properly. Individuals in relationship
create marriages, marriages lead to families, and sets of families create communities. There is no
escape from relationships. However, the Scriptures affirm relationships. As was discussed
earlier, God created a number of relationships that He saw as “very good.” In Ecclesiastes 4:912, we read that
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will
lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a
man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him–a threefold cord is not
quickly broken.
We are meant to live in relationships and we benefit greatly from them. Paul relates these
relationships to the Church. He writes in Romans 12:5, “So we, though many, are one body in
Christ, and individually members one of another.” There are many believers, but we form one
body, and are intricately connected to one another. This has great implications for believers, both
in how we approach our brothers and sisters but also in how we value them.
Conclusion
To conclude, relationships are inevitable. Additionally, they are a reflection, though dim, of the
original relationship within the Trinity. Just as God enjoys communion within the Godhead, so
we enjoy communion with one another. However, with the Fall came distance from God, discord
between persons, and disorder in creation. But do not lose hope. As we will see before the end of
this course, God intends to reestablish and reorder those broken relationships.
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